Evening Hosts Lampoon Trump's Controversial 'Gold Card' Visa Program

Late-night's prominent hosts used the airtime mocking ex-President Donald Trump's newly announced visa initiative, dubbed the "golden visa," characterizing it as a blatant pay-to-play scheme for the wealthy.

The Late Show's Sarcastic Spin

Kicking off his broadcast, Stephen Colbert presented a mock holiday song targeting the president. "He is compiling a list, reviewing it twice, then giving that list to the people at ICE," he crooned. "Trump ... ruins everything he handles."

The subject was the new plan that enables foreign citizens to buy U.S. residence for the price of a million dollars, or "platinum" option for $5 million. The program's page guarantees approval "in record time."

"A brief note for you to rich applicants: prior to you fork over the cash, what about Canada?" Colbert remarked.

He noted that the program is also meant to "get cash" from companies wanting to hire foreign workers, requiring hefty fees. "That's a lot of fees, but if you enroll, you also get free accommodation at a hotel of your choice – as long as it's the Tampa Marriott Bonvoy," he continued.

"The most thorough screening the U.S. government has ever done," said Commerce Secretary Howard Lutnick, "a $15,000 vetting to verify these applicants completely are eligible to be in America."

"That is important, you have to prove you're fit to be an American," Colbert deadpanned. "The initial query: how many burgers would you eat for a free T-shirt?"

Jimmy Kimmel's Humorous Commentary

On his late-night show, Jimmy Kimmel referred to the visa program the "American Dream Express Card."

"Here's a card that will let affluent international individuals to live here," he said. "In exchange for a million bucks, you get legal visitor status, you get a road to citizenship, and a president's pardon for one serious crime of your selection."

"It might be time to update that poem on the Statue of Liberty – to hell with your tired masses. Pay a million bucks, you're in!" he remarked.

Kimmel teased the lack of detail of the application, noting it is "tougher to start a Wordle account." He lamented that Trump "believes citizenship is something you can sell, like a timeshare."

"Indeed, the finest people are the rich people," Kimmel joked. "That's what Jesus constantly said! Read it in the Bible. He says it's simpler for a camel to go through the eye of a needle provided that you offer the needle a million dollars."

Seth Meyers on Grocery Concerns

On another network, Seth Meyers turned to Trump's declining poll ratings during financial worries. "People gave Donald Trump a another term because they were upset about the economy," he explained.

Recently, in a bid to tackle affordability, Trump conducted a press conference in front of a display of grocery items, where he behaved peculiarly to boxes of cereal.

"What a nice job, I think I'm going to take some of them with me to my place and have a lot of fun," Trump said. "Such as the Cheerios, I haven't had Cheerios in a long time."

"He's so incredibly weird," Meyers said. "What do you mean, you're going to take them home to your cottage to have a lot of fun with them? What exactly happens with those Cheerios?"

Meyers finished by targeting right-leaning media coverage of Trump's economic record. "Maybe instead of complaining, you should give him a sparkling trophy like the one FIFA did," he laughed.